For the most part, the law is not concerned with the rights of parents but with the rights of children. Courts will almost always consider the best interests of the child above the convenience or wishes of their parents, and will try to ensure that the children are stable, have close relationships with their parents, and receive the financial support that they need.
You will need to consider:
- Custody: In legal terms, “custody” doesn’t refer to where a child lives, but which parent will make decisions for the children, especially for major matters such as education, health and religion. The best outcome is generally some arrangement in which the parents can cooperate to make major decisions together. This is not always possible if there has been abuse or neglect, or if the parents cannot communicate.
- Residence and access: Generally, it’s best for children to have as much contact with both parents as possible, even if the parents don’t live together. There are many different arrangements possible, including having the children live with both parents on a week-on, week-off basis. Residency and visitation can be particularly difficult when there have been safety issues in the past, or when one parent lives far way.
- Support: If the children live mostly with one parent, the other parent is usually expected to pay basic child support. You can look up how much support is expected by looking up online child support calculators. However, this amount may not be appropriate if the children split their residency between the parents, or if the support-paying parent’s income is unusual in some way. It also may not cover special expenses such as expensive extracurriculars, orthodontic care, or other unusual expenditures. Note: The parent who has primary care of the children is not generally allowed to turn down child support even if they want to, since the money is considered to belong to the child and not to the parent receiving it.
The best way to give your children the stability that they need is to work out an arrangement in which the children have frequent contact with both parents, stability, and financial support. Whenever possible, I advocate negotiation or mediation to help you work out an arrangement that is fits your family’s unique needs and puts the children first.
Unfortunately, sometimes it’s not possible to negotiate or mediate with the other side. If court is the only way to go to get your children the best arrangement for them, then I will help you go to court.
Claudia Bordes 